In preparation for new ventures Duchess will soon be bringing you we thought it was a) time to move on up to a .com and b) get a new name to reflect our soon come all-encompassing global media empire (or something) so ladies, we present to you…

TEAMDUCHESS TEAMDUCHESS TEAMDUCHESS TEAMDUCHESS

TEAMDUCHESS TEAMDUCHESS TEAMDUCHESS TEAMDUCHESS

TEAMDUCHESS TEAMDUCHESS TEAMDUCHESS TEAMDUCHESS

TEAMDUCHESS TEAMDUCHESS TEAMDUCHESS TEAMDUCHESS

TEAMDUCHESS TEAMDUCHESS TEAMDUCHESS TEAMDUCHESS

There’s not much new going on right now but there soon will be and once I figure out how to redirect I’ll do just that but in the meantime change your bookmarks, faves and blog readers etc to www.teamduchess.com (do not fear, all the old content is there already) and keep it locked for lots of cool new stuff coming up!

xo

Oooooh we do love a freebie! We especially love a freebie when it’s something we would ACTUALLY buy in the first place so this Nails Inc X Diet Coke promotion has made us slightly giddy. Between now and the 30th of June you, dear consumer, will receive a FREE limited edition bottle of one of the above delightful shades when you buy two 500ml bottles of Diet Coke in any participating Boots store (subject to availability obvs, meaning go, like, now!) Colours available are (from left to right) – ’Paris’ a sexy deep purple, ’Milan’ a fiery Italian red, ’London’ an on-trend nude and ’New York’ a cute fuchsia pink.

And what a brilliant pairing this is, cos you know, Diet Coke is for girls…and girls like to paint their nails…whilst drinking a Diet Coke…and perving on buff topless window cleaners…DUH! Contrary to any cynicism you may be sensing I am actually pretty stoked about this, even though I can’t say I am a regular Diet Coke drinker (team Dr Pepper 4lYfE!!1!), I’d happily down the stuff if it meant spending a few quid on a couple of bottles to get a free £10 nail varnish and ESPECIALLY a Nails Inc one at that as they are most def one of our top 3 favourite polish brands. Well played PR people, well played.

xo KB

Are you a marginal or self-taught artist? Have you received a divine calling to depict strange new worlds?Are you an artist with a disability, whose creativity has been undeservedly overlooked? Or a collector with a cache of anonymous doodlings?

If this sounds like you The Museum of Everything cordially invites you to submit a work on paper (or anything small and light) to Exhibition #2, to be held on May 14th, 15th & 16th, 2010, as part of No Soul For Sale at London’s Tate Modern.

Exhibition #2 is open to all, non-professional, non – traditional, and non-exhibited artists, living or long gone.To enter simply turn up at the Tate Modern with your artwork where it will be assessed by our esteemed Board of Trustees. Successful works will be displayed in The Turbine Hall and published in a book of the exhibition.
REVEAL YOUR CREATIVITY AT THE TATE MODERN & EXHIBIT AT THE MUSEUM OF EVERYTHING.

THE MUSEUM OF EVERYTHING, EXHIBITION #2
WHERE: Tate Modern, Bankside, London, SE1 9TG
WHEN: Friday and Saturday 14th and 15th May, 2010. 10am – midnight Sunday 16th May, 2010. 10am – 6pm
WHAT: For details and guidance: www.musevery.com
TO ASK A QUESTION: everytate@gmail.com

xo Kirby Boom

Remember those L.A. Lights that were on pretty much every single one of your  birthday and Christmas list between 1992 and 1996? (Who am I kidding, I still want them now.) Well with all things 90s currently being a la mode it was only a matter of time before this one came around again. Consider these super cute Nicholas Kirkwood for Rodarte numbers your inner 8-year old’s much coveted L.A. Light’s mama!

Oh just imagine, sexy heels as well as your own personal discofloor with every step! Multitasking footwear, it’s the future.

You may remember Jimmy Choo’s similarly heel-luminated (word patent pending, copyright: me) Zap platform sandals a few months ago causing much of a stir.

We loved the fluoro heel/patent leather combo but for almost £2Gs not gonna lie, we’d be more likely to duct-tape a torch to the back of our Office pumps. Here’s hoping this is a trend the high streets are brave enough to steal try out in the next few seasons because Team Duchess is aaaaaaaaall over it!

xo Kirby Boom

How…bloody…CUTE are these new skirts from Lazy Oaf?? They are part of their S/S10 collection out today which includes their usual adorable tees and sweatshirts but also a little something different in the form of the above skirts, as well as t-shirt dresses and polos and baseball hats for the dudes.

To celebrate the new collection, today only Lazy Oaf are offering 10% off everything in store and also a special free gift with any purchases over £20. So if you can get down to their Fouberts Place store by 8pm tonight, DO IT!

There best be one of red number left for me by the time I get out of work though, that’s all I’m saying.

xo Kirby

You may have heard recently that Sandra Bullock’s husband of 5 years American TV personality, Jesse James, has had a bit of a promiscuous time of late. With numerous women coming forward to state they have been having biblical relations with Jesse in his Bike Shop, the first of these women was Michelle “Bombshell” McGee.

This past weekend on Saturday Night Live, Tina Fey had a slot in Weekend Update in addition to her hosting duties with a segment entitled Women’s News, (which you can see here) and she went iiiiiiiiiin on Miss McGee! Fair enough I say, as she’s a ho, however she said a few other things that were simply uncalled for. If you can’t see it there, then here’s a transcript for you:

“I know you shouldn’t judge people based on their appearance, but when your body looks like a dirt bang’s binder from 7th grade metal shop, it doesn’t bode well for your character. You know, there’s a term for women like Bombshell McGee, they’re called “Bombshell McGees”. Seth, the world has always been full of whores.

For every Sandra Bullock there’s a woman who got a tattoo on her forehead because she ran out of room on her labia. For every Elin Nordegren there’s a Hooters waitress who spells Jamie with two Es and a star. You could be the women who cures cancer and still be up against some skank, giant veiny fake boobs with the nipples pointed in different directions like the headlights on an old Buick. Wives, you’re not the losers in these situations, you are the winners, because this (pointing to a photo of Michelle “Bombshell” McGee) has to be the loser.”

-Tina Fey

Now, let me preface this by saying that I, in no way, condone the actions of Ms “Bombshell” (as ridiculous a moniker as “The Situation“) McGee – claiming to not know Jesse James was married to Sandra Bullock is a pretty flimsy excuse – but what I really can’t tolerate here, is Tina’s attack on a woman based solely upon her tattoos. Dear Tina, here’s the thing Michelle’s tattoos don’t make her a skank, the fact she sleep’s with other people’s husbands with clearly no shame about it is what makes her a skank.

As a tattooed individual, I have long since been used to the fact that, generally, most people don’t look kindly upon the tattooed (especially tattooed girls) and many times I have been abused by those close to me and complete strangers for having visible tattoos. However, just because I and others, have chosen to have tattoos does not make us lesser people with loose morals. I would like to think that my parents, who raised me in Irish Roman Catholic household, have taught me the sanctity of marriage and therefore I would not be creeping on other people’s partners. Being tattooed did not automatically mean that my morals and values flew out the window to be replaced by life as a hell-raiser.

Tina, to me, you have always been “the smart person’s comic”. You haven’t had to attack people for their faults of imperfections in order to get a laugh, but you do poke fun of yourself. You haven’t attacked other women based on their looks, until now.

This article isn’t directly written to defend Bombshell McGee (it’s pretty difficult to defend a woman who has a direct link to an Affair Dating Website on her personal .com) but this is defend those who have chosen to be tattooed, as it’s not a choice that people enter into lightly. Unless it’s some siq tribal, in which case there has been little to no brain activity prior to the tattoo and I can’t defend that either.

Maybe, Tina, rather than attacking McGee for her tattoos, you could’ve pointed out that she takes her clothes off for a living. Surely, that should provoke more anger than the tattoos? And yes, there are a number of women who choose to be naked on the internet and are also tattooed but let’s not confuse this as being a pre-requisite, just a coincidence. I don’t agree with it either, if that’s what makes them happy then by all means, knock yourself out.

Some men and women like other men and women who have tattoos, other people like people in glasses. This would be defined as a nifty thing I like to call a “personal preference” and it’s pretty dandy as it’s another thing that makes us all UNIQUE.

Tattooed Dukes and Duchesses, you have made a decision to mark yourself for life and hopefully you’re happy with this choice – it is after all, your body. Tina Fey, despite her previous awesomeness, and others – do not have the right to judge you based on your decisions and should they feel the need to voice their opinion they don’t matter that much in the long run anyway.

As my dear old Mum once said “No one will ever love you if you’re tattooed and you’ll never better yourself through marriage” (yup, seriously) but it’s 2010 so why should that matter to me, or anyone else?

xo Jen

This week’s look revolves around summer, which is clearly the best of the seasons. Look smokin’ on those long summer days and nights with these sweet garms….

Acid wash shorts – £13 (appx) Forever 21

I actually own these, so they have to be good. Can’t go wrong with a pair of acid wash booty shorts! Am I right or am I right?

Swallow Cropped T – £26 Illustrated People

It’s simple but I like it. A refreshing change from the traditional tattoo/rockabilly style thing which – might I add – has been cained to death. I’m getting rid of everything gingham, polka dot and most of my leopard print. I just can’t face it anymore.

Hawaiian style Bandeaux Bikini set – £36 Topshop

It’s a little bit cheddar but I can get down with it. It brings to mind so many summary images which is rad. Especially as summer in the LDN can be a little hit and miss. Rock this under the cropped T for days out at the beach or by the pool!

Van Era in black and teal mini-check – £35 Office

I own these too…you guys are getting a glimpse into my wardrobe! Vans are the perfect casual summer shoe and this colourway is particularly awesome. Of all of the styles, Era is my fave.

Coral oversized bag with eyelet studs – £16 (down from  £40) ASOS

Coral anything is my jam this season. Stuff this with your towel, sunscreen, water bottle and various other necessities! Perfect for beach and pool parties.

Sunnies – £14 Jeepers Peepers

Protect your eyes from UV rays with these!

Studded Belt – £115 Linea Pelle

I will never tire of studs.Wrap up the look with some cute and unique jewellery. I chose these little treasures from ASOS!

Horse necklace – £8

Disco necklace – £7 ASOS

“Bonjour” two finger ring – £9 ASOS

What are your favourite summer shorts?

Get at me lovely ladies!

Holla at N$

xo

“Less mayhem more creative drive as you are issued an invitation to High Tea for music lovers and art appreciators featuring a maelstrom of hot new talent on this Saturday afternoon”

Every Saturday afternoon, Duchess’s fave westside hangout Notting Hill Arts Club hosts Rough Trade’s RoTa sessions – a free arts showcase to entertain your ears, eyes and brain. Well this week’s event is EXTRA special as it is being taken over by London creative collective Plain Janes – a bunch of arty types who get together to work on art projects, organise innovative nights and in their own words “cause creative mayhem wherever they go”. And we’re guessing Saturday will be no different as the Plain Janes crew will be flaunting their musical wares with the likes of Elan Tamara Mottley, Ghost Poet, The Agitators AND a secret guest artist. In the midst of performances from all of these acts you can also enjoy a photo exhibit, interactive art displays, a presentation on a new guide, ‘The Art of Being Broke As Hell’ AND Happy Hour bar prices (go for the rum punch, it’s delish)!

That’s this Saturday, 17^th April, 4-8pm

Notting Hill Arts Club, 21 Notting Hill Gate, London, W11 3JQ

And yes, FREE entry, so get down as this sounds like it is not to be missed! Check out the Facebook event page for more info.

xo

Did you know that currently, less than half the women registered to vote in the UK, actually do? That just ain’t right!

Y’all must’ve heard those pesky rumours that Gordon Brown has called a General Election to occur on May 6th. There are a lot of issues being banded about by politicans that may sound as dull as mud, but are pretty important to how they affect you in the long run, for instance, did you know that under David Cameron, the Conservatives wish to give a tax break to married couples? If you’re single, shame on you! You have to pay more than your counter part who found “the one”. So not only does Valentines do a stinker on you, but your government wants you to pay to be on your own.

If the thought of a General Election gets you in a tizz and weak at the knees, in a bad way, never fear Duchesses! We’ll be your handy little guide, to help point you in the direction that’s right for YOU!

First things first, is to work out which parties are out there, and which would best represent your views.

• Labour –  Currently in power and have been since 1997, firstly under “Call Me Tony” Blair, and now Gordon Brown. Leftys.
• The Conservatives – Currently being led by David Cameron, you may have seen him on those petrifying billboards with just his face on. Sometimes known as the Tories, had a sticky run since they lost to the Labour Party in ’97 with several leaders coming and going. Previously, Margaret Thatcher and John Major were “runnin’ tings”. Rightys.
• The Liberal Democrats – or the “Lib Dems”. I don’t know what to tell you, really. I had to Google them hard to find out anything worth knowing and I couldn’t tell you the last time they ran the country. They’re “in the middle” of the right and the left
• The Green Party – they’re more left then the Labour Party, and they care about the environment, could you tell? They normally have good policies the only thing is – they never really fully explain what they are. They’re getting bigger
• UKIP - Or the UK Independence Party, they’re a bit more right than the conservatives, but not as right as….
• The BNP – the British National Party. Seen This Is England? This is them, but way less entertaining or well-dressed and far more stupid/offensive/abhorrent/disgusting/etc.

So now you know who the main players are, what are their policies? Well, I’ve linked each Party Website for you (yes, even The BNP), and all the websites contain a “complete” manifesto of each parties policies, what they want/claim they’ll do, once they have the Government. They cover everything from Women’s interests, policing, government spending, the NHS, education, Immigration, the environment and equalities.

Now, it sounds like a big task, but you should take the time to read through parties policies, or if you haven’t got that much time to spare, you could log onto this handy website: Vote for Policies. This website gives you the option to click on the areas you are most concerned with, then takes you through some policies relating to each of the topics you have chosen. It removes the names of the parties, so you won’t be aware of who you’re voting for and just gives you an idea of their policies for each area, then you have your results, which you may find surprising!

Requirements to Vote in the UK

You must be:

• 18 years of age or over on polling day

• Resident in the UK

• A British citizen, a qualifying Commonwealth citizen or a citizen of the Republic of Ireland

• Not subject to any legal incapacity to vote.

You should make sure you’re registered to vote in your area, if you’re not sure you can check out this website:

About My Vote

But if not, you do need to register by the 20th of April!

Ways to vote

In this day and age, there are several ways to vote, firstly…

In person…

You will be sent a polling card a week or two before the election, giving details of when and where you can vote.

On election day, go to your allotted polling station (called polling places in Scotland), which will be in a public building, such as a local school or hall. Polling stations are open from 7am to 10pm.

When you arrive, staff will take your details and cross off your name on their checklist. In Northern Ireland, staff will also ask for a form of photographic ID.

You will be given a ballot paper listing all the candidates and their parties. It will be stamped to validate it and numbered to combat fraud.

Take the ballot paper to one of the booths, which are screened to ensure secrecy.

Put an X in the box next to the name of the person you want to vote for. If you mark any more boxes, your paper will be invalid.

Fold the ballot paper so others cannot see your choice and post it in the ballot box.

By Post…

You can apply to vote by post without giving a reason, unless you are voting in Northern Ireland.

• But to do so you need to fill in and return a form by 20 April. Like the registration form, you can pick one up at your local election office or download one from the Electoral Commission website.

• As part of the application you need to fill out an identity confirmation form.

• Once you have applied, your ballot paper will normally be sent out about a week before polling day.

At the end of all that – the votes are counted! This normally runs through the night, so when you awaken fresh the next morning – you’ll be able to see the winner! It’s quicker and less traumatic than the X-Factor.

If you want to keep track of The Election process you can keep an eye out on the BBC News Website, it won’t be as exciting as the US election, and sure there isn’t as much eye candy in UK politics but there is…

David bloody Milliband! Look at that political GQMF!

Enjoy ladies (and gents)

I’m almost afraid to ever go to Brazil, not because of the fear of the high crime levels and the possibility waking up kidney-less in a bath of ice. No, for fear of my eyeballs exploding for all the really really RIDICULOUSLY good-looking people there. Everybody knows Brazilian girls are pretty much the hottest things ever created, no exceptions. What about the dudes though? Well don’t let the football team fool you, official Future Babydaddy #2 points to evidence that their male counterparts are potentially just as Earth-shatteringly, laws of science-defyingly, sell your grandmama-ly buff too. Meet male model, Mateus Verdehlo…

…nuff said.

xo